“So? How are things going with you and Michel?”
Rémi busies himself connecting the camera to the computer.
Lucienne shrugs.
“You mean how are they going backwards? Nothing’s happening! I can give him my prettiest looks, but he seems to think only about his bread. He’s into men or sunflower seeds, but not women! Seems to me that after all this time, he could’ve invited me somewhere. He ain’t ugly, he’s nice, but he avoids me. You can tell by the way he puts the change on the counter instead of giving it to me in my hand.”
“He lived in France for a while. That’s how they do it there.”
“We ain’t in France! It annoys me, that’s all. And he never raises his voice, never says anything improper. I sure ain’t gonna be the one to make the first move!”
“Why not?”
“I wasn’t raised that way! Besides, he doesn’t give me time. He practically runs away. No, I’ve written him off. I’m sure he’s a queer.”
“I’ve seen him with other women.”
“That doesn’t mean anything! You spent a year travelling around the world with women. You didn’t sleep in their beds!”
He sits beside her. The computer has recognized the camera connection and offers a choice of actions. Rémi selects “Copy photographs to hard drive.”
“Michel is shy.”
She adjusts the strap of her dress, which will not stay on her shoulder.
“He doesn’t make me laugh! I can picture him in my bed. With all the bread he eats, there must be crumbs everywhere in the sheets!”
“Aren’t you exaggerating a little? Maybe he shares his bread with someone.”
“He ever tell you that?”
“He once told me about an old lady who lives on the same floor. He does her shopping.”
“True enough, old folks nibble… Anyways, he ain’t making advances, so I ain’t advancing! I’m telling you. Sometimes I lean towards him, and I’m sure he’s stopping himself from backing away.”
She adjusts her dress again.
“I’ll have to fix this dress. It keeps falling off. I’m losing weight…”
“That’s good!”
“I’m gonna look like a skeleton in my grave.”
“Put more butter on your bread…”
“I don’t think so. It’s good enough as it is. Good like you.”
She pinches his cheek.
“Look, you’re backing away too!”
“No, you just pinched a little hard…”
“Oh, sorry…”
“There’s always hope! So we’ll be able to look right away at the pictures you took this afternoon? If I’d had that when I was young, I would’ve made a collection of photographs of my lovers! Apparently, they make tiny cameras now. I arrived too late. I could’ve hidden one in my cleavage, and when the man came, I’d have gone click. I would’ve had a lovely series of open mouths.”
He bursts out laughing.
“And when you came, didn’t you look like a madwoman?”
“I dunno, but I got all wet. Just the thing to ruin the camera!”
“You’re mad!”
“Of course I’m mad. And I don’t want you to be sad. Marie-Claire told me.”
Rémi shrugs.
“I’m not sad yet, Lucienne. I’m sure it will come… So, did you hear Victor wants to buy the manor?”
“Yes, he’d already mentioned it at your birthday, but I thought it was just a whim. Just goes to show you have to watch out for still waters…”
“I suppose I gave him no choice but to act this way…”
“He wasn’t the man for you.”
“People rarely stay with someone for no reason…”
“That’s as easy to say as what I just said. You two surprise me all the same. You split up, and nobody hears you shouting. Me, if a man had done…”
She stops, blushing.
“You can say it, Lucienne. I’m only getting what I deserve.”
“That ain’t what I meant. Deep down, you’re both right.”
“It simply isn’t in our temperaments. What I’m living through is a non-event.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re hurting, I know.”
“That won’t stop me from coming.”
She sighs.
“I’d sure like to know what got into you when you were young, to make you think that way. Love ain’t complicated.”
“Sex is what isn’t complicated…”
Lucienne purses her lips.
“It’s true that when you don’t have children… or know you’ll never have any, you’re free to complicate your life…”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Lucienne appears annoyed.
“You know what I mean. It still ain’t normal to sleep with other men. It’d be simpler to have a wife and children!”
Rémi raises his voice.
“Like Luc, for example?”
Lucienne raises her arms.
“Okay! I didn’t say anything! I ain’t educated like you. I don’t always put my words in the right place or have my thoughts all settled.”
Rémi smiles.
“Lucienne, I’m not unhappy to be what I am.”
“No need to justify yourself. But it’s certainly simpler when there are children in the picture. It sets your hormones straight if you have a lick of sense. Me, if I’d kept all the brats men put inside me…”
“What!”
She grimaces, places a hand over her heart, her expression sad.
“Whaddaya think? I ain’t made of rubber. I got pregnant plenty of times…”
“Nobody knows, I suppose.”
“Nobody except one man, but that’s ancient history. But if I’d kept even one of those brats… Women can do that today.”
“You kept your cards close to your chest.”
She looks at him with honest eyes coloured by anger and resignation.
“That’s exactly why I accept you as you are. You’re right when you say there’s always a reason to be with someone. You and me, we’re alike.”
“You think? I can’t picture you with Stéphane at all.”
“Dummy! I’m being serious!”
He takes her hand.
“You’re right. Something got into me when I was young, but I don’t know what it was. I have trouble mooring myself, I suppose. It’s easier when you’re twenty. Living with Victor was like living in a bubble, or on a railway siding.”
“You did what you could. Like you say, it’s no big deal. And I’m sure you would’ve made a good father if you’d been…”
Once again, she blushes. He finishes for her:
“Normal?”
“Well, yes, normal!”
“Do I really have to draw you a picture of the true sexual nature of the human race?”
She cuffs him on the head.
“No, it’s just easier to think there’s something normal on this planet! My God, I sure won’t get the last word here! And I like that, I guess!”
She rubs her stomach.
“I dunno what I ate that disagreed with me. It doesn’t seem to be passing.”
“I have antacid.”
“I never took that stuff, and I ain’t starting today! So, are we gonna look at the pictures?”
“Whatever you like…”
Rémi clicks the first photograph. The manor in all its summer splendour.
“That would make a beautiful postcard,” Lucienne comments.
Several portraits of Antoine and Sophie scroll past. Lucienne exclaims. The newborns appear in Marie-Claire’s arms, then Lucienne’s, Irène’s, Victor’s, Luc’s and Rémi’s.
“Those children sure got handled plenty. Either they’re all stressed out or they had the massage of their lives!”
“Twins are beautiful,” Rémi adds. “They have Luc’s eyes. Maybe there’s a little Freddy in them…”
“I don’t think so! And you, didn’t Luc get you pregnant? With men, you never know which way things go…”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re sure you don’t want tablets? You look like you’re in pain.”
She shakes her head and suddenly belches.
“See? It’s passing! Poor Marie-Cé, those twins are gonna turn her grey even faster!”
“Victor says she hates me enough to kill me. I didn’t notice that.”
“Victor talks nonsense. I’ll tell you something. When you and Luc were together on the shore, she whispered to me that she’d rather he work out his urges with you because you’re a decent man. She likes you quite a bit.”
“His urges! I sound like the resident inflatable doll!”
“No, she just understands her man. A woman, my boy, when she wants something, she’s ready to loosen the reins.”
“Men are no different.”
“You mean queers, I suppose.”
“They are men…”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Several photographs of Luc hurt Rémi, so deeply does his gaze pierce the screen and strike Rémi’s heart. Other photographs show Victor with the babies.
“He’s the one who should’ve been a father!”
“That’s true. One day, Victor joked to Marie-Cé that he would’ve married her. She turned bright red. Luc started laughing. Well, Marie-Cé didn’t find it funny and even kissed Victor. My God, I’m so ugly in that one!”
“You’re exaggerating. You look magnificent! Look, there, with the children…”
“Stop, I’m going to cry.”
“I’m serious.”
She pats him on the shoulder.
“Did they tell you about the house?” Rémi asks.
Lucienne shrugs and looks around the room they are in.
“Yes… It’s true, it would be perfect for them.”
“I have to find somewhere to live. And you?”
Lucienne raises her eyebrows.
“Well, that never even crossed my mind… My God… I never looked for a home in my life. Oh, misery, I don’t wanna go live in an old folks’ home!”
“Come on. Marthe won’t let anyone drive you out of your cottage.”
“I ain’t sure I wanna stay there! It’s high time I pulled up stakes! And you won’t be able to keep me, that’s certain.”
“We can look at that…”
“No, my boy. I’ll think about it. It upsets me a little all the same. I really hadn’t thought of it!”
“There’s no rush. We can stretch things out here… We have time to find our feet.”
“We could go live with Irène; her house is big… or in the old folks’ house next door. They put up a sign.”
“With Luc next door? No! The inflatable doll pulls out its own plug!”
“I understand you… He wasn’t the man for you either. Do whatever you want with your life, Rémi, but never allow anger to remain in your heart. It turns to vinegar, and then you die much too quickly…”
“I know. Don’t play the victim.”
“Don’t cry over your fate.”
“Don’t turn the whole world against you.”
“Don’t ask for too much.”
“Don’t think you’re the centre of the universe.”
“Don’t hurt others.”
“Be content with what you have.”
“That sounds a lot like ‘Don’t ask for too much.’”
They laugh.
“Here, let’s send these photographs to Marthe,” Rémi suggests.
“That’s a good idea! Could I write to her?”
“Of course!”
“I don’t know how to type.”
“I’ll be your secretary.”