“Do we share the same soul? Porque metade de mim é o que eu penso mas a outra metade é um vulcão.”
“Do I share the same soul as you? Because one half of me is what I think, while the other half is a volcano.”
Rui sends the first message.
Rui] I was waiting for you.
Night] Hello. I’ve just reread the introduction on your profile. How did the funeral go?
Rui] I’d forgotten about that! I find it amusing; no wonder I don’t attract anyone here. The funeral went well; I’m happy. Shall we switch to video? It’ll be nicer to tell you about it if I can see you.
Rémi starts the video call. As always, they leave their microphones muted. Rui prefers writing in French to speaking it, and Rémi enjoys this silent conversation in which words and faces move forward together. Rui’s image appears in a window. He is smoking, as always, wreathed in cigarette smoke. Rui blows him a silent kiss.
Night] Are you alone?
Rui] Yes, Helio is at his mother’s. He’ll be back very soon. What’s the weather like there?
Night] Bright sunshine after two days of rain. That’s fine, the plants needed it and the city smells less like fried food.
Rui] Here, I’ve had sun, sun, sun. Northern Brazil sleeps with the Tropics. My parents live in one of the most beautiful regions of the country; it’s a little as though you were going to Florida, except that when I return farther south, I know it’s still a bit like Florida.
Rui looks to his right.
Rui] Hermina is still there, spying on me. She must know I’m talking to you. I tell her everything, even when I tell her nothing. People here are so poor that they weave bonds among themselves that allow them to survive, even if, in doing so, they come to hate or suffocate one another.
Night] It isn’t so different here, you know.
Rui] Nothing is like here, my friend. Nothing.
Rémi does not try to contradict him.
Night] And what about your father?
Rui smiles. He takes his time drawing on his cigarette and letting the smoke envelop him. Three small dots appear at the bottom of the window, vanish, then return. Rui takes his time. At last, his message fills the screen.
Rui] There isn’t much to say. As always, when someone dies, it falls to the living to stitch the tear back together. My brother, my sisters and I laughed a great deal. Our mother maintained a polite manner, listening to us while looking elsewhere, as was her habit. She interrupted us only once, to remind us that our father had been neither a good father nor a good husband. I told her we all knew that. For my part, I inherited his photographic archives. He was a meticulous man when it came to photography. The same cannot be said of his personal life, a complete jumble of lies and half-truths. Curious, isn’t it?
Night] I probably resemble your father.
Rui shakes his head and blows him a kiss.
Rui] Never, my friend. I was sad for my mother. She has rarely left her house since she married. He never took her with him on his trips. She travelled only for important occasions: deaths and weddings. Our house overlooks a magnificent beach, but she stopped paying attention to it long ago. She watches the horizon as though she were watching television, passively. Bitterness is eating her alive, and she makes my sister Raquel’s life miserable. Still, I’m glad I made the trip. I could write a novel about it. You know my father had a child with another woman. Naturally, the accursed son made an appearance during the funeral. Pathetic! A fat, vulgar man who did not hesitate to talk about the inheritance before the grave had even been closed. It is as though all the harm my father did us were concentrated in that man. He embodies our shame. My mother flew into a rage when she saw him and tried to chase him away with a broom. Pathetic, I tell you, and so funny! I burst out laughing, but my sisters were sobbing…
Night] And your brother?
Rui] Rodrigo was drunk. Something we shared for a long time. But I’m not drunk anymore… I found many photographs of myself in my father’s archives. I’ll send them to you. My father loved photographing me. He loved me very much in those moments, when I became the subject of his film…
Night] You’re bitter.
Rui] Yes, I am, but all that is over now. I still have beautiful photographs and the company of beautiful people like you. And you? What good or bad things have you done this week?
Rémi summarizes the latest gossip from his little world. Rui smiles often. He asks what Rémi intends to do about Victor. Rémi replies that he does not know and is simply letting things unfold.
Rui] The storm is still to come, isn’t it?
Night] Yes, I think so.
Rui] Does he support you?
Night] No. Well, yes. Nothing in this house belongs to me except this computer and my clothes. He’s richer than I am, if you like, but I manage. No, money isn’t a problem.
Rui] Habit, then.
Night] Yes, habit, or age.
Rui] They’re much the same thing, aren’t they? Helio and I have been together for so long now that I no longer remember what it is to fall in love. Despite our quarrels, we love each other. Our tenderness has become tough leather; sometimes you simply have to bite into it to soften it. Close everything and come see me here in Brazil.
Night] I don’t like running away.
Rui] Who said anything about running away? You could rest and reassess the situation. Are the two of you truly at an impasse? You know, my relationship went through worse in its early days.
Night] Without a doubt. Believe me, one week in my company and I’ll have thrown the whole neighbourhood into chaos!
Rui] You don’t know Brazil, Rémi. Such a thing is impossible. You have no idea how the freedom you enjoy is a luxury you consume every which way.
Night] Are you making a case for poverty?
His companion’s smile fades.
Rui] Life is not a diversion, Rémi.
Night] Do your people know that?
Rui] Don’t be angry. You’re right, forgive me. Sometimes I tend to use my misery to glorify myself.
Night] Especially since you aren’t miserable. You have a good soul and you write French very well.
Rui] Are you trying to seduce me?
Night] No, handsome man, I already have.
Rui] Conceited!
Rui’s smile fades once more.
Rui] What am I doing here?
Night] Probably the same as me: trying to understand and to love.
Rui looks into the camera, and Rémi can see the depth of his weariness.
Rui] You’ll come visit me one day, promise?
Night] Yes, of course.
Rui] I’ll show you what a real southern beach is like.
Night] You forget I’ve travelled around the world.
Rui] That’s true, forgive me. You rich people…
Night] Don’t insult me. You know perfectly well I wasn’t the one who paid.
Rui] I know… Swear you’ll marvel when you see my beaches.
Night] I promise, I told you.
Rui] I have to go, Helio is here. Cem mil beijos.
With a friendly gesture, Rémi sends the hundred thousand kisses back, then closes the application.