Director

I was given a title last week. Director of Strategy and Web Integration. The position had been in the air for about six months; circumstances required that it be announced only after much consideration, a time that, I must admit, was destabilizing since I was in great need of certainty after a misty personal year.

The eyes of others became brighter when the promotion was announced. It is through the eyes of others that his credibility is built. I was told that "I deserved it", that "we weren’t surprised", that "it was in the nature of things", that we organized a small impromptu cocktail and the next day, I changed my email signature, announced it on LinkedIn, not to play the peacock, but to appropriate this title, because it’s not so natural for me, the eternal worried.

I’ll be sixty in a year. This promotion comes after Saturn has turned twice around the Sun. It is the great Saturnian return of astrologers. Not everyone becomes a director at around this age, but this period is similar for everyone who succeeds in reaching it.

When Saturn has danced twice, it is time to shake off what has accumulated on his shoulders. You become mature. We harvest or we do not harvest, we are the only ones to put the weights in the balance. Regardless of what others think, only we can do this accounting.

Among the Romans, Saturn was celebrated with great feasts (saturnalia). We celebrated order and peace. Happy is he or she who, on the eve of his or her 60th birthday, enjoys stability and the feeling of a first duty accomplished.

For my part, I am emerging from a misty time when I didn’t really plan and almost lost my house. The shift began at the end of 2013 when I left my self-employed status and for five years I was in survival mode. It’s behind me, I think, the order has come back and I’m reaping a little of what I would have sown just by being me.

How long will this last? Will I see Saturn’s third dance step? Nothing is certain, nothing has started. I reopened my astrology books, the ones I had abandoned for about twenty years. This great metaphor that is astrology (and not the one that is overused in the daily chronicles) has confirmed to me the path accomplished.

Now I am thirsty for structure, order, and contemplation too. I’m hungry for silence, for parsimony. It is said that, very often, those who are assigned responsibilities quickly develop the anxiety of proving something. Many resign because they do not overcome their sense of being impostors. This is not my case and my purpose. I don’t feel this pressure. The imposture maybe, but not so much. I see this promotion as follows: I have been given this position so that I can make my voice heard and help people around me to focus on methods and practices that will benefit the company and those who work there. In short, to prosper, to reach our saturnials.

Saturn is time. It is often illustrated with the Great Reaper and can be used for a long time on the symbolic. This text is already too long, not very sixty years old... What do you want, I don’t look my age...