Learning to rest

Autumn always succeeds in seducing me, especially in the morning when the sun, straight ahead, mixes its light with the opalescence decaying leaves. This will not last. In the Pacific, a typhoon was powerful enough to shake up the large atmospheric jets and, like random dominoes, the surrounding systems fester.

There will be rain for the next week, a short vacation for me. I hadn’t taken the time to rest yet this year. A project was not progressing and as I am in charge of it, I waited until the various pieces of the puzzle were well in place to leave.

"Any apology is good for not taking a vacation," the human resources manager told me one day. She’s not wrong, especially in my case. For me, this is certainly a headlong rush, as if I were afraid of losing the minimum certainty I have about the future.

This last week was exhausting in many ways, having to confront a colleague. Being angry is not usual for me, people and dramatic gestures annoy me, hollow barrels exasperate me. I’ve seen and experienced too much.

However, I don’t like to let people surf their gall behind me. There will probably be a winter between this colleague and me, but the professionalism of each will ensure that the necessary layer of humus is added that will bury the disagreement.

So now I’m dragging my problems along on these days of rest. A week is too short. I will, therefore, have to be very careful not to forget the richness of the silence and let things go.

Semper ipse ero, I will always be myself, I made it my motto as a teenager. Is that a real conviction? I’m not the one from my 15th birthday, but I’m the same. And does it really matter?

Let us do something else every day that is given to us. And for me, I will have to complete some renovations. If I don’t persist, I’ll leave, at least, a building.