On Friendship

I learned this morning that two of my great friends are in wrong terms, a kind of shortness of breath from their camaraderie. The first would have hurt the second for, in fact, perhaps a little nothing, and the second to express his pain would, in turn, hurt the first. Analyzed from the outside, we could easily laugh at the situation when we realize that the discomfort is still there and that it will have finally scratched the varnish.

I have the reflex not to worry about that anymore. A friendly relationship is no different from a couple’s, and it sometimes takes courage to put your foot down and insist on remaining yourself, even if we all know that we have to bear with large grains of salt our claims to the originality of our needs in this area.

But sometimes, it is essential to protect yourself, to say that things are not okay. And when we fail to do so, our inner garden closes again, at the same time trying, with despair, to keep a flame that is inexorably extinguished, due to a lack of fresh air. Losing a friend is not so bad; he/she is, after all, just one of the many ships that come and go. Our pleasure was undoubtedly to see his/her sails on the horizon again, but let’s be honest, we too sail, our travels sculpt us differently.

In my short life, I have met many people. I know many and few. To be honest, I am no longer interested in them, and that is not to take away their value. My brain is not huge, and my heart is already cramped. I learn not to give everything, I sometimes seek alone, sometimes accompanied, to blossom.

Nothing excludes solidarity, nothing forces these friendships, these sometimes fragile loves to die out. Everything needs work, and if there is one area where architecture does not use plans, it is that of human relations. Let us not be surprised then when the door no longer closes, or the building collapses. We have the choice to do it again and even to find a very Zen pleasure in rediscovering the other.

But courage, for God’s sake, it takes courage to make our soul grow. First and foremost, let us not forget that, deep down, our nature is that of the animal that wants to live and project itself into time. Our selfishness, our inner demon, as a beautiful song says, is sometimes our best friend. And congratulations to those who manage to cast off and then decide to tie them up again with the rope of old or new sirens.